You want the marriage you’ve always imagined. Where you and your partner are just that – partners.
Before getting married you thought you knew exactly what you wanted from life’s ultimate partnership. A relationship of give and take. Equal investment from both partners. A bedrock of support that could be relied on through the years. Someone who got you. Someone who knew what you needed without asking, who could make you feel like all the worries in the world were dwarfed by the size of your love. The person who understood you intuitively. The person you belonged with.
Now, that’s not to say you were naive. You knew marriage would take effort. That there would be hard times and slumps, and just plain old days when you didn’t want to be around the person of your dreams. You knew that the initial romance would fade and that your love would change.
But you never imagined this
The cold shoulders; the empty bed; the lack of support; the loneliness.
You’re sitting there ugly crying in the bathroom, the door locked, your kids watching TV down the hall. You have a major presentation at work tomorrow. You’d told your spouse you needed some extra time to prepare, and could he help out with dinner and the laundry? But there was no dinner on the table when you got home, and the clothes remain in dirty heaps on the washroom floor.
The negative thoughts run circles ’round your head:
“No wonder I find so much comfort from work, people there actually think I’m valuable.”
“This marriage leaves me so unfulfilled. I feel like I don’t even exist.”
“I guess I’m just going have to rely on myself from now on.”
“I’d probably be better off alone anyway.”
But when the anger fades, the dust settles and the cynicism clears, you’re still left wondering:
“When did this happen? When did we stop being a team?”
You know your marriage isn’t over, but when you really think about it …
You’ve been allowing your troubles to dictate your life for too long now. You’ve been avoiding your friends and family and you don’t trust your partner to fulfill your needs anymore.
You know you’re not the only one going through this. You never know what’s actually going on behind closed doors in any marriage. So many couples sleeping in separate bedrooms, fighting in front of their children; living without intimacy. And so many couples aren’t getting help. They just continue slogging through the bitter cycle of disconnection and resentment.
But you don’t want that anymore. The truth is, you’re sick of letting your marriage difficulties keep you from living the life you deserve.
You’re ready to start making things better for you and your family.
With Marriage Counseling at Solutions Mental Wellness in Virginia Beach
- You will regain the connection you had in your marriage before the stress drove you apart.
- You will laugh together again.
- You will enjoy each other’s company again.
- You will be partners again.
- You may fall in love again.
The Marriage Counseling Process
Marriage counseling isn’t about fixing another person or changing your partner. There should be nothing wrong with you or your spouse as individuals. Rather, something about the relationship is broken. Together, we will dig deep to identify the causes of the fracture, repair the damage, and implement lasting strategies for maintaining positive connection in the future.
We’ll meet once a week for 12 weeks, exploring a type of counseling known as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT helps romantic partners interact in more responsive, respectful, loving and emotionally healthy ways. This approach is backed by years of research and evidence showing that it can increase marital satisfaction by up to 70%.
Here’s how it works:
WEEK ONE: Intake
During this session, we will define the therapeutic relationship and discuss the details of the therapy contract. I will gather information about you and your spouse as individuals, and also about your marriage.
WEEKS TWO – FIVE: De-Escalation
EFT’s de-escalation stage identifies the negative patterns you and your spouse have developed, which are causing conflict in your marriage. In this phase, we will work together to identify the fears, insecurities and other underlying emotional factors that are hurting your marriage.
WEEKS SIX – EIGHT: Changing Patterns
EFT’s second stage involves learning to understand the needs of you and your spouse. Together we will work on communicating these needs and establishing a healthier sense of attachment within your marriage.
WEEKS NINE – ELEVEN: Integration
In the final weeks of our sessions together, you and your spouse will practice the communication and relationship skills we have learned in our previous sessions. You will be challenged to use these skills in your daily lives and report the changes you are experiencing. You will learn to re-establish your connection and to respect the fact that both of you face challenges as individuals and as a couple. You’ll no longer feel the need to hide from these challenges, and will be prepared to work on them as partners.
WEEK TWELVE AND BEYOND: Termination
During our last week of therapy, we will discuss everything you have learned and gained from marriage counseling. You and your spouse will determine how the two of you will move forward in your relationship without therapy.
More About Me
I’m originally from Latvia and currently call Virginia Beach home. I’m a Master’s level clinician, a Licensed Professional Counselor and a National Board Certified Counselor. I am passionate about helping people find connections with their loved ones and I’ve been translating this passion into my work for over five years now.
You can read more here: About Me
Who benefits most from marriage counseling at Solutions Mental Wellness?
My approach to couples therapy is best for those who are looking to improve upon a marriage that may have gotten off to a rocky start or seeking to renew the connection they enjoyed early in their relationship. Emotionally Focused Therapy helps couples break out of the negative patterns that prevent their marriage from growing and thriving. You will benefit from marriage counseling with me if:
- You and your spouse want to break free from the fears, doubts and insecurities that are hurting your marriage.
- You and your spouse want to change old patterns that are keeping your marriage stuck.
- You and your spouse want to develop new ways of communicating that are healthy and cooperative.
- You and/or your spouse are new to the United States or have unique cultural considerations that impact your marriage.
- You and your spouse want to develop a deeper, healthier attachment to each other.
- You and your spouse want to feel like partners again.
There are certain situations where you or your partner might not be ready for marriage counseling with me. These situations include, but are not limited to:
- Instances of severe trauma, abuse, or neglect.
- Substance abuse
- Ongoing infidelity
- You’re ready for a divorce and are looking to do so amicably. You can learn more about that here (link)
If these problems are present in your marriage, it is my recommendation that you seek individual counseling first. You can learn more about that here (link to your individual services page).
What previous clients say about marriage counseling at Solutions Mental Wellness
“Our communication has improved since working with Anna.”
“We can now recognize negative cycles and talk about them without it turning into a huge fight.”
“Anna helped me see that I can trust him with my feelings and not be afraid to get hurt.”
“Things are just better. There is a lot less tension and more connection in our relationship.”
“Our trust is back.”
What does marriage counseling at Solutions Mental Wellness cost?
You and I can explore payment options such as Flexible Spending Accounts, Health Service Accounts, and out-of-network insurance benefits. To learn more about specific session durations and rates, call to inquire or Click Here.
Your next steps
It is possible for you and your partner to find balance between your careers, your kids, and your relationship. You will be able to face your friends and community knowing that, while your marriage isn’t picture-perfect, it is healthy and happy. You’ll be able to walk hand-in-hand down Chicks Beach talking about your future together, just like you did when you first imagined getting married. Ultimately, you’ll be connected again, moving forward toward common goals and working together as partners.
To schedule an appointment for marriage counseling at Solutions Mental Wellness in Virginia Beach, Click Here.